With appologies to Jeff Foxworthy

My mother in law sent me this. It does explain an awfull lot about J. BWAH-HA-HA-HA

"BLUE NECKS"

Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of
Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at
Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves)

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...

Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you
guys," even if both of them are women.

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of
the road. (e.g.; boiled peanuts)

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never had an RC Cola.

You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road
trips.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own
TV fishing show.

You drink either "Pop" or "Soda" - instead of "Drinks? or Cokes."

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your
university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an
on-ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the
road and stopping.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., JoeBob,
FayeEllen, BillyRay, MaryJo, BubbaDean, JoeDan, or MaryAlice).

You don't know any women with male names (i.e.; Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie,
Jimmie).

You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

None of your fur coats are homemade.